Saturday, November 13, 2010

You never thought you had a completely different purpose?!

Saturday. It all started with lunch, we have planned with her husband to do important cases, but for 3 hours and nothing is done. Well I start doing household chores quietly, as time goes by, and wraps up at home. The laundry, dishes, daughter asked podubrat? everything that was not in place, but occasionally reminded her that you want to start the work that is not already postponed. After a few minutes, I stated that the House could not concentrate that he went to the Office, and I will bring all prossmotrit finished result. And the fact that, say, from what it is and my destiny prossmotrit, too, was not taken into account. In my case, it takes much less time, and that using a labour, everything will be more productive, no he sounded. In General, I'm upset feelings, in all the permanent household responsibilities, with whom the throat, catch myself thinking that I do this so you don't need to have are a higher purpose than drait?, Cook, wash clothes. I have something more than lug everything itself. I never dreamed of when was marrying. There is no satisfaction in life. My candy flower period is over 13 years ago and that he has never come back. Because it clearly understands what well where I denus? from her husband and child at home. All of my works are self-granted, of course, is not appreciated almost anything. Over the past two years, it happened that all do the housework, child go too itself, it is the responsibility of the study, which has left much to be desired, because let's be capitalized. Oh, well, why would I do it all. Live in limbo where us zakines fate as a result of its uncertainty and do not live in removable not in his apartment, drag the pain as tanitolkaj, absolutely have no opportunity to evolve the most because it all depends on it, and if you forget about your career, and think about the family, it is not likely to have a second child, I have a dream. Although, frankly, have a second child in an atmosphere where everything is on me, I'd probably shy away from. Do not think we are all so bad there are warm feelings between us, but those moments are so volatile that they only give me a breath of air. All this is very painful for Me. I created for a happier life. Inside my head is a completely different way, with joint ustroa family dinners, a joint output. When the husband dedication, reliable, knows what he wants and behind which are not afraid of nothing. I rejoice that he was a child, plays checks domasku. In the image of people who care about the us open, helps me for what I does not fall evenings of powerlessness that b was "Than you help?". Since we are a family, we live in one House, eat, worn by clean clothes. This should be ALL the newest stuff at me. But if I stop to do something, it's not daletsa never anyone. I've got it all rotate at the head of the summer, I try not to be "And Bab and Guy" in a vial, as a result, our summer holiday nakrylsa that nobody was orgonizovat?, know for our upcoming anniversary wedding, we will celebrate one bottle of champagne, which I'll buy. No friends, because I don't invite. Life just raise if I am I ever going to do something, such as all on my shoulders. I was tired because I myself am hosting buy gifts, holidays, hiking in some places, buy itself for all colour mood to itself. I have no surprises. I admit that I blame myself, when first started our life together, I had placed themselves too much, because I was raised that resolved a woman much at home, BUT my dad really helps and always helped MOM and MOM really both stone back, even when he lost his job, virtually nothing has changed and my mother is not needed. I am so because we lived with her first 5 years, would like to make a good impression. And provided various delicacies like crazy and flawless economy itself in someone else's House and the child and all-everything you'd think it was at the Summit.
Now, I admit your mistakes, but I can't change, talk-hollow conductor scandals, tried to stop doing anything, but nothing has changed and I can't just stop because my daughter to habituate to clean and properly fed, etc, to leave everything to destroy, and go nowhere, it just doesn't have the guts, I was not ready and have nowhere to go. A vicious circle. A soul so hurt like a beast in the cell, in the throat. Now we have one daughter, as usual in everyday life. Today, no luck with the weather, wind, rain, cold.Dodelau, don't worry as it to do that weekend was for her-The best weekend ever ...
Ask any of our life love?!Of course, in some ways it is, but is covered by thick layer. And it's a shame, but it turns out that the marriage is not a love derzit?sa this vessel to be filled with many ingredients which we exist, and most importantly, these elements must be nested in this vessel both rather than one.
I lack words that describe it all.The helpless, the cry of the soul into the void.
Stand alone among Plains naked
And cranes as wind into the distance.
I was thinking about his cheerful,
But nothing in the past I was not too bad.

Don't pity me, were lost in vain,
Not sorry souls lilac cvet?.
In the garden is lit red, fire mountain
But nobody can it warm.

Do not brush obgorat gorobynova
From the yellow doesn't get grass.
How tree leaves quietly drops
So I ronau sad words.

And if wind, face and size--until
Sgrebet them all with one extraneous com. ..
Say so ...the Golden Grove
Otgovorila lovely language.

S. Mitchell.

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